This was a favorite saying of Laura, Lane's EI therapist. It certainly seems that way at times. This was supposed to be a perfect Christmas. Will was off both Christmas Eve and day, something that rarely happens, and our little girl was due the 26th. Plans had been made to induce me early so we could all spend Christmas together at home. We've already spent one Christmas apart when Lane was in the NICU, I really didn't want to have to do it again. I wanted to have her on the 21st but Dr. Scott wasn't going to be in the office so we decided on the 18th. Well there was no room at the proverbial inn. All the rooms were booked for that day. How fitting. So we moved it to the 17th. Keep in mind lots of people had everything worked out for the 18th but we changed it anyway. Then Monday the 14th Lane has a bad day and sleeps the entire day and night. 2:oo Tuesday morning he starts coughing and moaning. I kept him home even though he missed jammie day at school. After the 10:00 feeding I noticed his tummy was tighter than I'd ever seen it. That's not good. Dr. Sharpe had us come in to turn down the Baclofen pump again to see if it would help. He was concerned with his listlessness just as we were. We consulted Dr. Morgan's nurse and decided we needed to head to the ER. We were given a diagnosis of Pneumonia (again) and told that his sodium levels were low. This was causing the lethargy they thought. We were admitted. It's OK. It's only Tuesday. I have till Thursday, surely we'll be home by then. Yeah right. Little did I know. We developed a plural efusion which is where fluid is leaking into the space between your lungs. Depending on the amount it can either resolve itself by being reabsorbed into the body or you get a chest tube to drain it. And yes that means surgery. After an ultrasound and a lot of run around, it was finally determined that Lane's was a minimal amount and would probably resolve on its own. Thank God! The thought of another surgery for that poor innocent baby right here at Christmas when he already had Pneumonia was sickening. And then there was the whole inducement thing to worry about. Do we go ahead or not? We decided to postpone it. Lots of people had their opinion about this but ulltimately Dr. Scott made it easy and just said she wouldn't do it. I love her. I went to see her on Thursday and we decided to try for the 28th. Good, that's settled. Of course she won't be here for Christmas but she wasn't due till the 26th anyway. Now back to getting out of here. Lane's CRP levels ( these indicate infection) were on their way down. From 400 to 200. Wow! that's great you say. Yeah, it is except that it's supposed to be like 10. Just keep giving him IV antibiotics and pray they keep droping. Then he gets dehydrated, the IV is shot and his poor little veins won't give anymore. I watched them poke and prod to the point of bruising him something awful. All the while the doctor keeps ordering more labs. Well she's not the one trying to draw these nor is it her baby that she listens to as he screams. I just want it to stop. Why Lord must Lane continue to endure this hell? Put me thru it not him.
So here it is, the 18th. They got an IV in last night and were able to draw labs from it but of course it wouldn't give anything this morning. The few drops they did get were sent to the lab with a prayer that it would be enough. None of us thought it would though. We'll wait and see. He was puffy so he was given a dose of Lasix which caused the dehydration, which caused his Potassium levels to drop. It's a viscious cycle. You can't fix one problem without giving him another. Do you have any idea of what that's like? Of how helpless and frustrated I feel? On a lighter note, Will and the nurse managed to piss off the stupid dietician and then I went over the doctor and got Dr. Morgan to get me some answers. She didn't seem to care for that too much. I have reached the end of my rope and I will do what it takes for Lane. They started in on the blood pressure thing again but yet they never do anything about it other than get all bent out of shape over it. Find out why it's always so high and try to fix it or shut the hell up.
So here we sit. Trapped. They keep ordering labs they can't get, worrying over why his sodium dropped. It came back up and then dropped a little but stayed in the normal range. We may never know why it dropped. We don't anything else about Lane, just add it to the list.
Our nightmare continues. We find ourselves closer to Christmas Eve as each hour slips by, closer to my delayed induction date and no closer to any answers or idea of when we'll go home.
My Christmas wish this year? The same as it was 3 years ago. Just to take my baby home and be together with my family. It is the season of miracles. Will we get ours?
