Vandy Valentines

For some reason my boy insists on celebrating every holiday at least once in the hospital. I guess this year we'll have a Vandy Valentines. That's ok though. In a way it's kind of fitting, after all it was in here that I learned what it was to love unconditionally. As the days faded into one another I came to accept that my baby was going to need care on the most basic of levels for the rest of his life. I finally saw this as my calling in life. Knowing that he would never be able to hug or kiss me, that I'd never hear him say thank you or I love you suddenly didn't matter. I promised him daily that I would always love him, always be there to take care of him and to NEVER give up on him. In my eyes he was Heaven's gift to me. After all God chose us to be his family for a reason. I have tried to honor God by taking good care of him. "what you do unto the weakest of these, you do unto me" maybe that's not exactly how it goes but you get the idea.

It was said many times to me that an extended NICU stay would either make a marriage stronger or destroy it. Ours is stronger for it. There is NO way I could do this without my Will. He's my security blanket, my other half. I'm proud to be his wife and the mother of his children.

I've countless docs & nurses over the past 5 years. Some have treated Lane as nothing more than a patient. Others have clearly loved that baby and it showed in the care and compassion for him and us. Those people are the ones I not only adore the most but admire. Dr. Walsh & Dr. Morgan were clearly 2 of these people. Sarah & Abby and most of the PICU crew fall into this category.

I've always told Mandy & Kristi they had to teach him but they didn't have to love him. They do both. I am honored to call them friends. They are amazing, wonderful ladies.

Liam learned at 4 what it takes some people a lifetime ; acceptance. Morgan will always know. This journey has taught me a lot about love, I've seen who's willing to walk the long road home with us no matter how hard it gets at times. I've seen who's only there for the good and I've seen who's there when it works for them. I'm not saddened by this, I'm glad I know. I just pray that I can be the kind of friend that a few of mine are. There without fail, standing by for when I need them the most.

I wish you joy and I wish you happiness, but above all this I wish you love. I love you Lane Carter, I will always love you

You will always be "my special Valentine"